


Other Side of the Glass

by Hanelli



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 12:52:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanelli/pseuds/Hanelli
Summary: He didn't know why his feet were leading him towards that one place. He was trying to avoid having to go there, because by then the futility of what he was doing would rear its ugly head. But he kept his head up high, and went through with it anyway.





	Other Side of the Glass

**Author's Note:**

> If you've seen this on shitkkwrites.tumblr.com, I own that sideblog. Anyway, have my debut piece.

Even without his alarm clock going off, the slumbering sunny-blonde slowly clambered out of bed, rumpling his hair and stretching his hands over his head. Realizing that he’d taken off his prosthetic limb the night before, it was lucky he hadn’t gotten up entirely—otherwise he’d have crashed to the floor (and looked totally uncool; not to mention making his older brother worry about the loud noise he’d have caused) in a heap.

Fumbling around as he slipped the fake limb on the stump of his right leg, he then gave a few experimental kicks, before reaching for his phone and scrolling through the menus, until he’d reached the “Messages” and scrolled to a particular name, punching in a message as he did so.

“Good morning, Vanya~  
How’s my beautiful sunflower today?”  
\- sent 07:22 

Once the message had been sent, he then lumbered off to the shower and proceeded to go through with all his morning rituals before picking out what he was going to wear today. It was a fine day, and just as he’d finished wearing his favorite Captain America shirt, two messages buzzed into his inbox. Reaching for his phone, he then scrolled to the recipients, and quickly shot off a reply to each of them.

As he’d finished dressing up, he then made his way down to the kitchen, seeing his older brother Matthew tucking into a piece of toast slathered with what looked like to be jam, reaching for his office coat and slinging it on himself.

“Hey, Al. Good mornin’. I’ll try to get home early tonight to make us dinner… Hopefully work doesn’t keep me too long again,” Matthew said his way, to which Alfred nodded.

“Mornin’, bro. I’ll be going out today too. Keeks already asked me to come over to his place, he said he’s gotten another new model kit he wants to throw together and he needs my help; and then after that, Nat’s invited me over for lunch at their place,” he replied, reaching for a piece of bread and lathering a generous amount of peanut butter on it. “If I take too long, I’ll let you know, okay?”

Matthew nodded, before reaching for his briefcase and then making his way to the front of the house. “Sorry, Al. I really have to go. They need me in the office,” he muttered around the piece of bread, before the sound of clinking keys were heard, followed by a slamming door. He then took his time with his breakfast before reaching for his phone again and opened it, sending a second message:

“I’m going over to Kiku’s place first.  
He said he got this new model kit,  
and he wants me to help him build it.”  
\- sent 07:57

After he’d made another peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the road, he then went to the front of the house, grabbed his own keys, and locked up before heading out to his best friend’s place.

* * *

His visit to his best friend’s home had taken up most of the morning, and the two had fun popping out the colorful plastic bits from the frames they came in, before sanding them down and snapping them together to form the body. While Kiku had taken care of assembling the plastic pieces together as best as he could manage with his remaining eye, it was Alfred who had taken charge of painting the pieces that had already come together—between them, he had the steadier hands to paint the miniature details in.

“You’ll come by again, Alfred?” Kiku’s soft voice asked once the two had finished cleaning up their messy work space—and while he was offered to stay for lunch by Kiku’s older half-brother Yao, he politely declined, before explaining why he couldn’t—even if he really wanted to.

“A’course, Keeks! I’ll come by as long as you need my help! You know I can never turn down a friend in need,” he replied with a genial grin on his face, wiping his hands down after he’d managed to scrub the last of the paint off his fingers. “Sorry I can’t stay… I already agreed to have lunch elsewhere.”

“That’s alright. So, same time again tomorrow?”

“Definitely!” he chuckled, before waving a hand and letting himself out of the Honda home, closing the door behind him and taking his phone out again, scrolling to the same contact he’d sent a message to several hours earlier.

“It was fun, Keeks bought this MG model kit thing.  
MG means Master Grade, if you’re curious. It had so many pieces!  
Lucky, with two of us working on it, it’ll be done in no time!”  
\- sent 13:47

When he’d sent this message, he then proceeded to walk through the sunny neighborhood, weaving his way through the streets and sticking to the shade. For some reason, it was unbearably hot today; luckily the next house he was going to was only a few blocks away.

He then began whistling a tune to keep himself preoccupied, exchanging pleasantries with the other familiar faces he’d encountered while on the way to his next destination.

* * *

_**“You’re late.”** _

“S-sorry, Nat. I wanted to leave much earlier from Kiku’s place, but—“ Alfred began to apologize, scratching the back of his head sheepishly in the process.

“Well, as long as you’re here. Come on in, myshka,” Natalya conceded, stepping aside to let their guest in. She then held the door open, waiting for Alfred to wipe down his sneakers before closing it behind him.

“You’re lucky syestra Katyusha is home today, you’ll get the chance to taste her cooking,” the long-haired young woman said, before heading to the kitchen to help her older sister out. “Surely you don’t mind waiting in the living room until we’re ready?

“Really? Awesome! A-and yeah, sure, I don’t mind waiting,” he said, this unreadable grin on his face as he then redirected his steps to the Braginski’s living room, looking around before relocating himself on the couch and settling there, reaching for his phone as he absent-mindedly began to scroll through it.

Lunch then came and went, with Alfred praising the unique taste of Katyusha’s cooking, and even asking for seconds in the process. The older sister was more than happy to oblige their American guest’s requests, smile growing wider on her face as she did so. 

Eventually, the table then fell into conversation—one side being Russian; the other in accented English.

“So, what else will you be doing today, Alfred?” Katyusha inquired, picking up the plates and clearing out the table.

“Well, I’m going to… oh, hey, lemme help you,” he said, suddenly standing up and grabbing the remaining dishes on his side of the table.

“Oh, no, no need to—“ the older sister began, embarrassed at the gesture.

“I insist,” Alfred offered, having circled around his side of the table and already holding the stack of dishes in his hands. _“I-I mean, it’s the least I can do…”_ he trailed off, giving both sisters and their parents a rather knowing look as he did so. 

“O-oh. W-well, thank you, Alfred,” Katyusha remarked, bustling off to the kitchen with him following suit. 

* * *

After helping out in the kitchen, Alfred had found himself parked on the couch in the living room again, re-reading a rather worn copy of Love Found, and Lost that he’d found stuffed between the pillows. There was an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes scanned the lines he was focusing on, silently commiserating at how Pierre was now looking for the person he truly wanted to give the iris ring to—but being unable to find him, he could only wander around, lost.

 _“Come on, Pierre, don’t be such an idiot, keep searching,”_ he muttered softly, raising the book upwards so that he could hide his face as he continued reading through it, reaching the bottom of the page and turning it so that he could silently cheer on the exasperated hero of the book, who continued to traverse through the streets of Paris, looking for the one who had helped him some time ago. At the same time, he couldn’t help but look at his own spider flower ring, the sapphire inlay glinting faintly in the late afternoon light, before returning his attention to the page in front of him.

 _“I know you can find him…”_ he continued, unaware that both Katyusha and Natalya were now observing him from behind, muttering in whispered Russian, before Katyusha had left her younger sister staring at the back of Alfred’s head.

He continued to read through the pages of the book until he’d reached a part where a bookmark had been left; no doubt by the previous reader. It was here he stopped, and he felt his breath hitch for a few moments, his fingers softly touching the worn paper.

“Myskha, getting a bit sentimental there, I see?” Natalya decided to say at that moment, catching Alfred completely off-guard and very nearly causing him to jump a mile in the air!

“Ah, shit, Nat, you… you scared me,” he chuckled, quickly snapping the book shut and holding it close.

“Honestly, I don’t know what you see in that book, myshka. I tried reading it, but it… it didn’t make sense for me,” she said, waving a hand around before suddenly realizing what she’d said. “I mean, I tried to, but I can’t understand anything better than sheet music, and—“ she trailed off, an attempt at apologizing to Alfred. 

“No need, Nat. No need…” he muttered, still holding the book close to him. _“I… s-sorry. I think I should… go,”_ he continued, his voice going down to a whisper. “I-I mean, I’ve intruded long enough on your hospitality. Please give my regards to Irina and Mikhail for me, will you?”

“Da, I will.” 

He then set the worn book down on the coffee table, giving it a loving pat before hurriedly exiting the house. For some reason, there was this heavy feeling starting to come over Alfred; but he fought back and reached for his phone, blindly punching in a message before breaking out into a run.

“I had lunch at you place. I was lucky to get to taste  
your older sister Katyusha’s cooking. Let me tell you now,  
**It. Was. _Amazing!_**  
Who knew that Russian food could taste so good?!”  
\- sent 17:32 

* * *

He didn't know why his feet were leading him towards that one place. He was trying to avoid having to go there, because by then the futility of what he was doing would rear its ugly head. But he kept his head up high, and went through with it anyway. 

The moment he'd entered the memorial park, he let his feet go on auto-pilot until he'd ended up in front of a singular marker, on a lonely hill under a tree. 

“Hey... big guy,” he began, crouching down as he then brushed away the last of the trimmed grass to reveal a slab of polished black granite, fingers tracing over the foreign letters carved in the stone. He was a bit surprised to see that there were flowers there, before he remembered what day it was. While he knew that Ivan's family did come to visit from time to time, it was Alfred who'd more often than not be spotted here, sitting for hours on end as he seemingly talked to himself.

But really, he was talking to his husband.

“How's it up there, Vanya? _Are you... are you flying?_ Like... like how the Firebird does at the end of the story, f-finally free from its tormentors...?” He began, a brave attempt at conversation that ended up with him breaking down instead as he fell to his knees and surrendered himself to his grief.

He’d already told himself that he wasn’t going to cry, no, not since the time he had to act as a pall-bearer at Ivan’s funeral; him crying in his older brother Matthew’s arms as the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground; him picking up a handful of dirt and throwing it into the hole, along with a single sunflower he’d brought along before Ivan’s family followed suit; him very nearly fainting on the spot due to the grief that had overtaken him back then.

“H-how long has it been s-since… since you left, sunflower? Has… has it really been a year now? It feels so… so much longer, though,” he hiccupped quietly, rubbing his right hand against his eyes, his left having taken hold of his glasses in the meantime so he could wipe his face. _“I-I miss you, Vanya.”_

Today would be different; for instead of spending the rest of the day talking to Ivan, he’d leave not too long after, his emotions getting the better of him. He’d already promised himself he wasn’t going to get so wound up whenever he’d visit Ivan’s grave, but today was just a bit too much…

* * *

He’d spent the rest of the late afternoon until evening wandering listlessly around the neighborhood, tracing the steps they’d taken as they walked through the area, talking about their favorite books; remembering what had gone down in Paris; reminiscing about how afraid he was when he saw that Ivan was struggling to breathe; that one fateful night he had to rush to the hospital because his sunflower had collapsed without warning—

It wasn’t until he’d looked up that he’d realized that he’d wandered back home; before sighing once again. The lights inside weren’t on—which meant that Matthew was still in the office. He then reached for his phone and flipped through it, seeing that there were several messages—one from Natalya, another from Kiku, and a voice message from his older brother.

He then chose to read Kiku’s message first, firing off a reply as fast as his trembling hands would let him. After that he scrolled through Natalya’s, asking if he was okay.

 _No wonder Katyusha was home… they must’ve gone to visit him earlier this morning while I was at Kiku’s place… that must explain the flowers…_ he thought to himself, typing out a reply while walking up to the door. He then poked through his voice mail and listened to Matthew’s message, before sighing once again—why did he believe him and his promises, anyway? He was always busy…

On impulse, he then dialed a certain number, listening to it ring, before hearing the distinct click as he was redirected to the number’s voice mail.

“ _Privet,_ Ivan here. I’m busy at the moment, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” the recorded message warbled, before Alfred heard a beeping noise. Alfred had often dialed Ivan’s number just to listen to his recorded voice; but never left any messages.

Today, though, would be different. 

“I—Vanya. Sunflower, h-hello. S-sorry I was late visiting you today. I just… I just wanted to say that I love you. _I love you, and I miss you so much…_ ” he said with a trembling voice, before ending the call and taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

After he’d regained some semblance of normalcy, he then reached for his keys and opened the door to the house, before flipping through the “Messages” menu, and texting again as he stepped inside:

“Aww, dang. Mattie’s at work again.  
Well, he’s always in the office, he’s been too busy as of late.  
It… it hurts today, you know? I told myself that I wasn’t going to cry,  
but sometimes it proves to be too much.  
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get you sunflowers today, Vanya.  
Maybe tomorrow…”  
\- sent 21:39

* * *

After hunting through the cupboards, he’d managed to secure himself some ready-to-heat dinner, and had popped it into the microwave. He was busy poking around the television, mindlessly channel-surfing. As the ding of the microwave went off, he then stood up to retrieve his dish; and the smell of macaroni and cheese pervaded throughout the area, making him drool slightly in the process.

He then dragged the steaming hot bowl with him to the couch, and ate in front of the television, only paying half-attention to the comedy show that he’d decided to watch for a while, as his mind was wandering elsewhere.

Once the bowl was empty, he then took it to the sink, and rinsed it out before wiping his hands dry on the nearby dishtowel. He’d left his phone on the counter earlier before picking it up, and sending a message:

“Don’t worry, I had something to eat…  
even if it was just mac ‘n cheese. At least I had something, right?  
It… it feels lonely without you here.  
I miss you so much.”  
\- sent 22:49

He then proceeded upstairs, dimming most of the lights but leaving the front light open for when Matthew got home before heading to his room. After running through his evening rituals, he then sat down on the bed and took off his prosthetic leg, before leaning it against the night stand and throwing himself backwards on the soft surface. Staring up at the fluorescent stars he’d stuck up on the ceiling long ago, he then groped around, dimming the lights in his bedroom and watching as the green glow slowly came to life, tracing a luminescent path across his ceiling.

Yawning, he then reached for his phone, sending one final message for the day, not realizing that his emotions had gotten the better of him once again as he typed out the words,

“Good night, Vanya. I love you, my sunflower.”  
\- sent 23:32 

Setting his phone, along with his glasses on the night stand, Alfred then punched one of the pillows into a more comfortable shape before hiding his face in them; taking one last, long look at the spider flower ring on his left hand before crying himself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, if you haven't figured out the other AU yet, it's The Fault in Our Stars. If you're curious as to who's who (for reference):
> 
> Alfred - Augustus  
> Kiku - Isaac
> 
> I took some liberties with the story; instead of making Kiku totally blind he still has his right eye left.


End file.
